Archive for March, 2009
Overcome Shyness To Succeed
Today’s topic is one that was suggested by a reader. I encourage readers to let me know if they are dealing with areas in their own lives, and perhaps I can post something about it!
The topic that needs further coverage is : Understanding and Coping with Shyness To Succeed
This topic will cover the 3 reasons behind shyness, and 8 ways to effectively combat it to help you succeed in life.
Why are some people shy?
There are 3 basic reasons why people are shy – do you fit into one of these?
#1. Poor self-image
If you don’t feel like anything you have to say or contribute is worthy of anyone else, you will not want to share it.
#2. Self-Consciousness
If you are caught up in how you look, act, and feel, there is no way you will ever feel comfortable – which means you will not be able to open up and share with anyone else.
#3. You Say You Are
If you tell yourself, and everyone else, that you are shy, you certainly will be. Remember, self-talk can have a great affect on who you are.
Ways To Overcome Shyness
We have all experienced some degree of shyness, at some point in time. Understanding how to beat it is key to your success.
#1. Learn To Be Happy In Your Own Skin
If you do not like yourself, how can you expect others to think more highly of you than you think of yourself? Spend time in self-affirmations daily, as it will help greatly.
#2. Figure Out The Cause
If you do not know what the cause is of your shyness, you cannot cure it. Figure out what situations make you shy, and what about them makes you shy. This will be very helpful in solving the issue.
#3. Focus On Your Strengths
We all have strengths and weaknesses – find out what your strong suit is, and find ways to use that to your advantage to succeed in life. If it is a particular topic or environment or group of people, use that as a starting point.
#4. Forget You Are There
Focus on what other people are saying, rather than yourself. Learn about others, and get them to talk about their own lives. Use this is a way to move your thoughts away from yourself, and onto what they are doing.
#5. Stick With It
Do not leave or turn away from the situation, as this will only make the next time more difficult. Stretching beyond your comfort zone is key to succeeding in overcoming shyness.
#6. Practice Makes Close To Perfect
So, you tried this stuff once, and bombed royally. Who cares? If you give up now, you will never be able to succeed. Try again, and keep trying until you find a way to make these uncomfortable situations more pleasant. Rejection will be a part of this, so don’t expect perfection. Dealing with rejection is also a part of the game, so expect it.
#7. No One Is Perfect
Don’t think that anyone will ever be perfect in any way. Learning to live in your own skin is part of overcoming shyness. Don’t think that anyone out there is perfect – we all have our flaws and faults. Dealing with that is a big part of success.
#8. Write it Down
If you do have a great success, write it down and record it. Remember to review that success, again and again, before you attempt to go back into an environment where you are shy. This will help you to remember that you can succeed, and that you have it in you.
Do you experience moments of shyness?
Do you deal with it well?
Do you have other topics you wish I would cover?
Let me know in the comments!
Dealing With Difficult People
Friends, I want to continue on a topic we discussed yesterday, Confidence at work.
Today’s free ebook is entitled “Writing Effective Press Releases” . Go get it for free!
Today’s topic is:
Dealing With Difficult People At Work (or other places)
Dealing with difficult people, whether it be at work or elsewhere, can make your day much more stressful. Sometimes, it can even be the very reason you dislike your job. You may think “My job would be perfect if _______ would leave the company” . This added stress can make for a much tougher day, and can leave you frustrated and unhappy.
So, how do you deal with these people? First, you cannot make them go away, so trying to cope is a much more effective strategy.
There are 4 basic types of difficult people that I have found. If they don’t fit neatly into this list, below the list are 4 other strategies that can work universally.
Aggressive Allens (and Alices)
These people must be stood up to. They expect you to either react in anger or blow up in rage. You must be assertive with this type, and not try to win a battle. Confidently give them your opinion, but don’t play their game.
Low Blow Joes (and Janes)
These are the people that find fun via sarcasm, making fun of the misfortune of others, and other innuendos. Respond to these people with a cool, confident question, such as “That sounds like a put down. Are you making fun of me?” This usually throws them off guard, and causes them to cower in embarrassment after having been caught in their nonsense. They will usually try to find someone else to bother after that.
Complaining Carls (and Carolyns)
These are the people that complain 90% of the time, and believe the world is a truly terrible place. They do not believe in anything positive, and will knock down anything positive with a negative counterpoint. Your best bet here is to respond with a positive comeback, and don’t let them bring you down.
Sullen Steves (and Sallys)
These are the timid, sullen people who figured out that awkward silence will be filled by someone, so they don’t have to say anything. They get away with one word answers, and offer little opinion of their own. This can be annoying, to say the least, as they never give a straight answer. Your best bet here is to ask them open ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple Yes or No. Give them one full minute to answer, and after a bit, they will realize that they look pretty silly by not answering, and if the question is directed to them, they will get uncomfortable enough to answer, or fear looking like an idiot.
Now that you understand the 4 types of difficult people, here are 4 tips that can be helpful in general, even if they don’t fit into the 4 basic categories.
How to Deal With Difficult People
#1. Don’t Take It Personally – these people are going to be difficult to everyone, so don’t think it is just you.
#2. Don’t Fight Back – difficult people have been perfecting their unique way of being a pain for ages… you don’t have the skills they do, and you cannot beat them at their own game.
#3. Don’t Try To Make Them Happy – you cannot make these people happy, and trying to do so will only make things worse.
#4. Don’t Try To Change Them – it isn’t your place to do so, and it won’t make any difference.
I hope this helps you deal with difficult people at work, school, or wherever else you find them.
Confidence At Work
Friends, I have yet another topic that I think will be helpful to you all week – this week and every week.
The free ebook for today is “12 Guidelines For Creating Successful Marketing Materials”. Go get it for free now!
Today’s topic is : Being Self Confident In The Work Place
Do you ever feel like this poor kitten when you are at work?
Self-confidence is an important topic, but applying it to daily life is what is often difficult. Being confident in the workplace is of great importance, as it can make or break you in your career. Having self confidence at work will also help gain the respect of co-workers, customers, or others you deal with during the workday. This top 5 list will show how to better be successful at being confident in the work place, which will help you make more money!
#1. Keep A Positive Attitude
Just like any other situation, your attitude can positively or negatively affect your outward image. Are you known as the always happy, always upbeat person, or are you known as the grumpy, negative, always unhappy person? Think about which of these sounds more pleasing to work with, and act accordingly.
#2. Present Yourself
Remember, once again, the way people view you will make a difference. If I pass you in the hall, and you have clenched fists and a scowl on your face, I will not be likely to interact with you. Appearance is important, so keep that in mind.
#3. Just Do It
If you are someone who doesn’t really like presenting at meetings, or speaking in public, or something else like that ,there is probably a reason. Typically, it is due to lack of confidence, since you do not have a lot of experience in doing these things. Make sure you purposely place yourself in these areas that are outside your comfort zone. The only way to be more comfortable doing this is experience, so make an effort to push yourself outside your comfort zone so you can become more comfortable.
#4. Monkey See, Monkey Do
If you have a role model or someone else in the organization that is highly successful, take a cue from them. Analyze their habits and how they do things, and adapt your life to incorporate those things. I am not talking about little things, such as how prefer their coffee. I mean that we should see how they hold themselves, dress, act at meetings, etc.
#5. Practice Makes Perfect
If you have a presentation to make, or a meeting that makes you nervous, practice your piece of it many times. Make sure you are comfortable in what you will say, and be sure to practice in front of a mirror. I know, it sounds silly, but while you practice, you can see yourself as others will see you, and you can avoid doing things that do not look right. You can also think about any possible questions that may arise, and perfect an answer that will be satisfactory.
I hope this guide helps you understand how to be more confident at work. Try using this the next time you go to work, and see what happens! But be warned – don’t be surprised if you suddenly find yourself more popular, and closer to a promotion or raise!
Reach Your Goals
Friends, I have more information to share with you regarding reaching goals. Many people responded asking for more information on this topic, so I am posting some more information about reaching your goals.
The 4 tips for tonight are going to help you further in reaching goals in life. This is an important topic, and is worth thinking about often.
#1. Be Clear On What You Want
You cannot expect to succeed at reaching a goal if the goal itself is not clearly defined. Make sure you have written it down, as that is important, but also make sure it is absolutely defined. Not just some generic ” I want to improve my life” business – your goals have to be very clearly defined in order to make it a success.
#2. You Can Imitate – Or You Can Innovate
You don’t have to invent some entirely new way of doing things. If you find someone else that has done what you want to do, there is no more sincere form of flattery than imitation. If they have already done things the hard way, and found all the pitfalls, why not work to do it as they have, and be successful without all the heartache? Makes sense, doesn’t it?
#3. Practice Makes Perfect
You cannot expect to change your thinking overnight. You need to ensure you are practicing all the time to get to where you want to be. Don’t stress over it, or obsess over it, but always look for places where you can integrate achieving your goals into your daily life.
#4. Call On Others
No one said you had to go it alone – use your network of people around you as a support group. This could be family, friends, members of your Church or civic group, or whatever other group of people you want. If you tell your friends that you are trying to lose weight, or hoping to save more money, or whatever your goal is, they will want to help you in that goal. Don’t forget to call on them when you need help sticking to it.
Easy Does It
I have noticed a trend lately, among many people I have met. This has prompted me to create a post about it. Before we get to that, I have another free ebook for you.
Today’s Free Ebook is:
92 Hypnotic Sales Letter Templates
As always, this ebook is here to help you in your journey to success – free of charge, no registration required.
Today’s topic is:
Easy Does It
What does that mean? Well, basically I have noticed so many people go about doing things the hard way, instead of taking the time and effort to figure out that there is an easier way to do many things. Looking at my picture above, which would you prefer to use, if the situation allowed either one? I would hope you would choose the electric mixer over the hand mixer. The point is simple: many people go through life making things much more difficult than they need to. They spend their entire lives in a dark room, trying to feel their way along, when they have a flashlight in their pocket which they could use. That flashlight, for us, is the internet. There are so many things that people do that can be streamlined. When thinking about your goals, take a good, hard look at each step you are taking to complete them. Decide if any of the steps can be whittled down, or even eliminated altogether. This will bring your goals closer to completion, and also make you a much happier person in the end. Applying this to your daily life can make a big difference. I am constantly evaluating everything I do, and trying to determine if there is another way to do the same thing with less investment of money, time, or other resources. Everyone is talking about going “green” and using less oil, gas, etc…which is a great idea, for sure. Try applying that same thought process to the rest of your life, and watch your goals get closer and closer. Remember, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line – not a squiggly one. Research online to see if other people have similar goals, and how they have achieved them. I found a great site to aid in this process – and it is completely free. You can ask other people how they have completed a goal you have, and learn from one another. Go here to check it out.
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Subscribing is a free way to be kept up to date on posts and updates on this site. If you don’t know what all that means, as one of my friends pointed out today, you can learn about how subscribe from a beginner’s perspective here.
Program Yourself To Succeed
Today, I want to talk about learning to train your mind to be successful. This is something we can all do. After all, an athlete must train their bodies to be successful, right? The right mindset is also important to succeed – at anything in life.
Today’s free ebook is entitled “Get All The Business You Can Handle” and unleashes secrets to building and growing your business and making more money than you know what to do with! Go get it – as always, it is a free ebook with no registration required.
Today’s topic is:
Program Yourself To Succeed
I know, this sounds like an odd topic – let me explain.
Have you ever noticed how, if you tell yourself something often enough, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy? By learning to respond positively to events in your life, and reprogramming yourself to think positively all the time, you can begin to improve any aspect of your life.
Bombarding yourself with positive self-talk and affirmations will minimize past negative thoughts and influences from being able to continue to hurt you, as well as placing new, positive thoughts in place of the old, negative thoughts.
The easiest way to do this is the read your list of goals (you did write them down, right?) and read them aloud to yourself every day, perhaps even several times per day. Keep telling yourself that you CAN and WILL achieve these goals. Anytime – and I do mean ANY TIME – you notice a negative thought slip into your mind, be sure to replace it with something positive. Do not let any negative thoughts work their way into your mind. If you allow a negative thought to gain any foothold, it will act like a virus and begin to destroy your self-confidence, lower your morale, and destroy your chances of reaching your goals.
If you have ever noticed, successful people often “speak” themselves into what they want. Successful people will speak only positive words, and think only positive thoughts. A successful person will never say “I will never have the money to do what I want” or “I will never learn the skills needed to accomplish that”, or “I have such awful luck”. People who want success will do just the opposite. Speaking these positive affirmations, such as “Money keeps coming my way” or “My business is so successful, it cannot fail” or “I am very skilled in this area of my life” and “I am the luckiest person alive” trains the brain to subconsciously reprogram our thinking to be on the right track. What we think and say, even in jest, really does affect our minds. If you constantly tell someone they are dumb and useless, they will begin to believe it, even if they are quite gifted and intelligent. It is our mind reacting to what we hear and think. What our mind hears is very much a part of what and who we are. Think about this when you are speaking to others as well – both positive and negative affirmations have an affect on our minds.
So, the next time you begin to think, hear, or say something negative about yourself, or someone else for that matter, be sure to instantly replace it with something positive. Program yourself to be whatever and whoever you want to be. This will not happen overnight, as you could be trying to replace decades of thought patterns with new ones, however ANYONE can do this, regardless of age or background.
Try it out, and see what happens. What do you have to lose?
Are You Stressed?
Friends, today’s post is one we can all use in our daily lives. Before we get to it, today’s free ebook is one that I hope will also be interesting to all of you.
Stress and Stress Management
There is a better way to manage stress! Managing stress in your daily life is all about being in control of your your thoughts and your emotions. The way you choose to deal with problems and your environment is ultimately what will make the difference between being stressed and being relaxed. The key to stress management is balance. Stress can be caused by a variety of factors, and can affect both physical and mental health. Management of stress is not easy, but over time you can learn to do a better job of managing stress and coping with life. Some level of stress is necessary, and positive, however too much can cause issues in your life. Follow these 4 tips, and reduce the amount of negative stress in your life.
#1. Remove Unnecessary Stress Sources
Know your limits, and avoid situations and people that tend to stress you out. If certain environments, situations, or conditions cause you stress, do your best to avoid them. If checking your 401k online daily causes you grief, learn not to do it as often.
#2. Know Your Limits
It really is OK to say no sometimes. You cannot be everything to everyone 24 hours a day. Knowing your limits and working within them so will allow you to whittle down your to-do list, which will further reduce stress.
#3. Adapt, If #1 Isn’t Possible
Sometimes, you cannot avoid stressful situations. Learn to reposition them in your thinking, adjust your attitude, and focus on any positive points within the situation. This will help reduce the overall stress in the situation. If cannot avoid the stressful situation, do your best to reposition it in your mind so that you may cope more effectively. Remember, perception is 90% of reality – meaning, if you perceive something as a “big deal”, it will be.
#4. Schedule Relaxation Time
Make sure you get to spend some time running, walking, playing games, watching television, going to the spa, or doing something else that makes you feel good. It is okay to step away from the desk now and again. Giving yourself a well-deserved break can make the difference between being overly stressed and being comfortable.
I hope these tips and tricks help you more effectively deal with stress. It is something we must all struggle with, but with proper handling, stress can be managed, and not overtake your life.
Your Worst Critic Could Be..
Friends, today I want to start another powerful series to help you all understand things that can help you become successful – or things that may be preventing your success to begin with. This series focuses primarily on self-help, and getting your mindset on the right path so you can succeed in your goals.
But before we get to that, I have another free ebook for you!
Tips For Starting An Online Business
Go get it if you are interested. As always, there is no registration necessary, no risk of being spammed, and no form to fill out. Just download it for free and enjoy!
The topic for today is:
Your Worst Critic
Do you find that you constantly start new projects, or set new goals, only to find they are never completed?
I have seen this pattern before, and it is often due to your very worst critic – yourself.
Think about it – how many times have you vowed to lose a few pounds, start a business, get your office organized, or any other goal, and yet here it is some time later and nothing has been doing to get that accomplished? You may very well be defeating yourself, due to negative thoughts and attitudes you are pushing on yourself.
Perhaps you think that if you are always unhappy with yourself, you will be motivated to change. However, this type of thinking can have the opposite effect. Granted, you need to be realistic in your goals and assessments, but you also need to maintain a positive attitude while you are doing so.
You must allow yourself to do the things you are hoping to do, and not be so negative towards yourself. So many people believe that they should be negative towards themselves before someone else gets a chance, therefore “beating them to the punch”. I know self-deprecating humor is popular, but it really isn’t good for the soul. Don’t allow your own thoughts to defeat your chances of success. If you resist success, it will not fight back. It will be defeated – very easily.
Finally, I wanted to mention that my buddy has a really cool tech blog – all about .NET, web hosting, web traffic, all sorts of cool stuff. Check it out!
Secrets To Success – Finale
This is part 10 of my series on Secrets To Success. This will be the last of this series. Tomorrow, I will start a new series that will be of interest. Be sure to check back to see what I have in store for you next! I assure you, it will be about self-improvement.
The free ebook of the day is a Million Dollar emails – making money online using email tactics.
The topic I want to cover in this part of our series on success is:
Procrastination
I hope this picture drives my point home .
I think my favorite quote about procrastination is “Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.”
To follow up from our previous topics, I think the last thing that keeps people from succeeding is procrastinating. If you keep putting off until tomorrow what you should be doing now, you will never reach your goals. If you are thinking about losing weight, waiting until tomorrow, or next week, or the weekend won’t help. If you are hoping to start a website, or start investing, there is no reason to wait until later. Granted, you may not have all the money or supplies you need right now. However, do you know what you do have? The internet. You can start researching your goal, what steps you will need to take, and start writing down the order in which you will need to achieve those steps to succeed. You can begin to compile the preliminary resources now, and spend your time preparing for the time when you do have the resources you need. There is no reason to put that off. The fact that you cannot complete the goal at this point is no excuse. So get out there, get started on achieving those goals, right now! Don’t procrastinate!
