Are You Shy?

Friends, I want to discuss something today that I know several people personally are experiencing:

Overcoming Shyness

If you are shy, or if others consider you shy, perhaps it is time to think about why you are shy, and try to find ways to overcome it. There are a number of reasons for being shy, but typically people are shy either because they are self-conscious of themselves, or they have low self-esteem. Either one of these is in itself a challenge to overcome, but when shyness also plays in the mix, this can really cause some discomfort in life.

How To Deal With Shyness
I think there are 5 basic ways to deal with being shy. Contrary to what some people may have been led to believe, shyness can be overcome. Even the most timid person can become less shy, and even become a social butterfly.

#1. Find Your Strengths
It is imperative to figure out where your strengths lie, and determine exactly what they are. It doesn’t matter what they are – just find them and remember them. Perhaps you are a great caregiver, or you are skilled in a craft such as sewing, or maybe you are mechanically inclined. Remember that any and all skills you have are worth something, so don’t discount anything as invalid.

#2. Love Yourself
If you don’t like yourself for who you are, how can you expect anyone else to like you? You must focus on allowing yourself to love you, as you are. We all have times when we are not proud of ourselves in our lowest moments, but overall we still need to feel valuable.

#3. Practice, Practice, Practice
You cannot expect to be good at anything if you don’t practice. Do you think Pavorati just woke up one day and decided to be a World-Class opera singer? I doubt it. I am sure Pavorati had natural talent, and I not trying to downplay that. My point is, even the best of the best must practice to reach perfection. The same applies to social settings. Practice meeting new people or going to social gatherings. If you are single, I have found that pubs are great places to practice. They are dark, and most of the people there have consumed some liquid courage, so if you make a mistake, no one will remember tomorrow anyway.

#4. Do Not Leave
If you get into a social setting, the best thing to remember is NOT TO LEAVE. You cannot walk away from an uncomfortable situation to make it better. You will only be disappointed in yourself later, and have to start over again. So get some courage and go for it! It will make next time easier either way…you will decide you cannot do any worse, or you will remember the success and want to do it again.

#5. Unique Is OK
Don’t worry about fitting into a particular stereotype. You can truly be yourself, and not have to worry about being labeled in one group or another. By labeling I mean labels such as “suit”, “hippie”, “yuppie”, “surfer”, etc. I personally have attributes from many different groups, and associate with many different categories of people. They all know I do not totally have all the attributes of any group, yet they all accept me for who I am.

I hope these tips help in some way. Just remember – you may have been shy your whole life, but that doesn’t have to remain that way forever.

I also think this book is worthwhile.