Personal Development and Growth

Dealing With Difficult People

Friends, I want to continue on a topic we discussed yesterday, Confidence at work.

Today’s free ebook is entitled “Writing Effective Press Releases” . Go get it for free!

Today’s topic is:

Dealing With Difficult People At Work (or other places)

Dealing with difficult people, whether it be at work or elsewhere, can make your day much more stressful. Sometimes, it can even be the very reason you dislike your job. You may think “My job would be perfect if _______ would leave the company” . This added stress can make for a much tougher day, and can leave you frustrated and unhappy.

So, how do you deal with these people? First, you cannot make them go away, so trying to cope is a much more effective strategy.

There are 4 basic types of difficult people that I have found. If they don’t fit neatly into this list, below the list are 4 other strategies that can work universally.

Aggressive Allens (and Alices)

These people must be stood up to. They expect you to either react in anger or blow up in rage. You must be assertive with this type, and not try to win a battle. Confidently give them your opinion, but don’t play their game.

Low Blow Joes (and Janes)

These are the people that find fun via sarcasm, making fun of the misfortune of others, and other innuendos. Respond to these people with a cool, confident question, such as “That sounds like a put down. Are you making fun of me?”  This usually throws them off guard, and causes them to cower in embarrassment after having been caught in their nonsense. They will usually try to find someone else to bother after that.
Complaining Carls (and Carolyns)

These are the people that complain 90% of the time, and believe the world is a truly terrible place. They do not believe in anything positive, and will knock down anything positive with a negative counterpoint. Your best bet here is to respond with a positive comeback, and don’t let them bring you down.

Sullen Steves (and Sallys)

These are the timid, sullen people who figured out that awkward silence will be filled by someone, so they don’t have to say anything. They get away with one word answers, and offer little opinion of their own. This can be annoying, to say the least, as they never give a straight answer. Your best bet here is to ask them open ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple Yes or No. Give them one full minute to answer, and after a bit, they will realize that they look pretty silly by not answering, and if the question is directed to them, they will get uncomfortable enough to answer, or fear looking like an idiot.
Now that you understand the 4 types of difficult people, here are 4  tips that can be helpful in general, even if they don’t fit into the 4 basic categories.

How to Deal With Difficult People

#1. Don’t Take It Personally – these people are going to be difficult to everyone, so don’t think it is just you.

#2. Don’t Fight Back – difficult people have been perfecting their unique way of being a pain for ages… you don’t have the skills they do, and you cannot beat them at their own game.

#3. Don’t Try To Make Them Happy – you cannot make these people happy, and trying to do so will only make things worse.

#4. Don’t Try To Change Them – it isn’t your place to do so, and it won’t make any difference.

I hope this helps you deal with difficult people at  work, school, or wherever else you find them.

Monday, March 30th, 2009, by bp and is filed under "Self Confidence, Self-Improvement, ebook, Self Confidence, Self Esteem, self help, success ". You can leave a response here, or send a Trackback from your own site.